Meet the NOGS....

This group of women have blessed my heart over the past 8 weeks as we've met every Monday night to study the word of God together and work through a bible study by author, Kelly Minter, called, "No other gods". (In case you are wondering NOG stands for "no other gods"). The women that make up the group are unique and dear to me. We have young and we have older (I refuse to say the word "old", I'm just not there yet). We have three different churches represented and we have some that are fairly new in their walk with the Lord and some that are seasoned in their walk with the Lord. BUT....the one common denominator we shared is a hunger to learn more about God and a desire to draw closer to Him. These women were not "hand picked", I posted on facebook about 12 weeks ago requesting that anyone interested in committing to a weekly Bible study to contact me and these are the 5 women that stepped forward.
Last night was bittersweet as we had our last night of study. We left determined to stay close to one another and to remain steadfast in our walk with God. Please be in prayer! I am taking a 4 week break which will allow me to rest and pray about what God wants me to do next. I am asking God to bring 5 more committed women from all walks of life. I never want this time of fellowship to be "just another study", but I want us to walk away living what we've learned.
Once again, I just want to praise God for the opportunity to study His Word with such an awesome group of women!

Days 11 thru 20 on BHRT (Bio Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy)

During this time frame I am happy to say that I have slept like a baby every night with an occassional hot flash in the early a.m. hours! I think I am normal again (although my family would tell you I never have been "normal", but this is my version of normal). I am amazed at what sleep deprivation does to the body and the emotions. If you haven't yet entered menopause, let me just warn you, the hot flashes are tolerable, the sleep deprivation is not. I have not yet made my follow up appointment with the Nurse Practitioner at the hormone wellness center. I am anxious to see what the outcome of my labwork is. For now, I am content to just sleep again. I am content to laugh again. I am content to live! I am praising God for all He is doing around me (both seen & unseen!)

Happy Birthday to Mr. Wonderful!

When my husband met our daughter's future in-laws I think his first introduction to them went something like this: "My name is Mike, but most people just call me Mr. Wonderful". We still laugh about it and this week they mailed Mike a birthday card addressed to "Mr. Wonderful" Combs. Thank God, he rarely remembers how to access my blog because what I am about to say could cause him to be full of himself, but I have to say....he truly has been "Mr. Wonderful".
My beautiful grandmother, Susan had a jealous streak in her when it came to my grandfather. She always thought that other women were looking at him. Now more than likely she was a tad bit insecure, but I would like to think that she was so in love with him that she just assumed that the rest of the world was as well. Mike and I laugh about my grandmother and some of the things she would say to my grandfather in reference to women flirting with him (mind you he was in his late 80's, early 90's when she said these things)....We laugh because I catch myself commenting when I think a a woman may be flirting or saying something a tad bit in appropraite to my husband. I have to admit, my fangs come out just a little. So, I reminded him in his birthday card today that in 30 years from now, when he is 84 years old, I'll still think every woman in the world is looking at him and wanting him, because I still will.
So, Happy Birthday, Mr. Wonderful! I still see you through the same eyes I saw you through 26 years ago!

Weeping Forward.....

We started a new study in Sunday School yesterday titled, "Ruth: Loss, Love, and Legacy" by Kelly Minter. I cannot begin to tell you how this study is already speaking to me. For starters, I'm always amazed that whatever is taught in one area of the church/sunday school, usually carries over into another. We are having revival at our church this week and Josh Pilgram (a very energetic and annointed young man) is the speaker. Yesterday in Sunday School, we discussed the hebrew word "hesed" which means kindness, love, mercy, grace....it is a covenant love....then it was discussed later when Josh preached in the church service (see what I mean?). Anyway, going down bunny trails as usual. I want to tell you what spoke to me most in our first week of the Ruth study. In the first week, we talked about two journeys that Naomi took (if not familiar with this, read Ruth Chapter 1). She had two daughter-in-law's that she attempted to discourage from traveling with her for a number of reasons. After much talk, she finally convinced one daughter-in-law (Orpah - not Oprah) to turn back. Orpah wept and went back. Her other daughter-in-law, Ruth, wept but hugged her and told her that she was going with her. Ruth wept forward. See, it is O.K. to weep....but do so going forward, knowing that God is able to see you through every heartache, every trial, and every circumstance. Do so knowing that as the Word says, "Though your sorrow may last for the night, joy comes in the morning."

Days 7 thru 10 on BHRT (Bio Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy)

I have hesitated to write on this topic until I had something of worth to say. After all, a hot flash is a hot flash....need a bore you with details of each time I have one? O.K., on about day 7, I remembered that the prescribing physician for the BHRT had told me that if 1 dose of the natural estrogen therapy was not effective, I could take 2... (maybe I was in denial about this because I wanted to stretch this already more expensive therapy). So day 7, I increased my dose. By george, I think it's working. I did have my doubts this morning. I had taken our mattress warmer off the bed and flipped it thinking that one of the wires might have been kinked. The warmer has dual controls and while I haven't used mine since I stopped HRT in January, Mike uses his almost daily. I woke up this morning feeling warmth down the entire backside of my body (no, I didn't wet the bed)....it dawned on me that I had mixed up the controls for the warmer. So when Mike turns his on, it warms my side of the bed....I have all intentions of fixing this problem today.
On another note, I found out that a new pharmacy in our town is a compounding pharmacy, meaning that they should be able to fill my prescriptions for BHRT. (Only certain pharmacies are "compounding pharmacies", and none local that I'm aware of.
This is definitely a journey. I had a rough start Saturday morning, just woke up feeling gloomy and down, for no reason at all. Totally not my usual nature. I have learned through this that even though your thoughts and feelings may be totally off course, it's a choice to not be motivated by them. I have had to lay this at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to help me be in control of what I think and what I speak. I cannot use hormonal disconbobulation (not a real word, but sure you got the point) as an excuse for not treating people well. In a future post, I would like to share how difficult the first years of my marriage were because I let feelings and hormones rule me. The journey continues....

For the Sake of Christ....

I was tempted to compromise my witness a couple of days ago and speak out of anger to someone (had I done so, I probably would have compromised my job as well). We have one physician on our unit who has always been an absolute tyrant and prides himself in being so. A couple of days ago on our unit, I allowed him to push my buttons. It was a very uncomfortable place to be because it all occurred in front of a patient. My eyes teared up and for a second I could have wept. When I went to bed that night I prayed for the great physician to give that physician a heart transplant (spiritually speaking of course). I also prayed for God to help me handle such situations His way, and not my way. The next morning as I was doing my Bible study this scripture was part of my study: "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong". How I needed to hear those words and be reminded that it's all for the sake of Christ that we endure the things of this world. I needed to be reminded that I am weak, but He (Jesus Christ) is strong. Thank you Lord for this simple, yet profound reminder!

The God Who knows everything!

On Sunday night as my head hit the pillow I thanked God for allowing me to be born into the family He gave me. I thanked Him that He is the "I AM", the God Who knows and controls everything. He knew Frances DeLoach would be my mother and that Fotch Staten would be my father. He knew I would be a preemie back in the day when preemie's didn't make it. He knew who my brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, and cousins would be. He knew I would fail miserable through the years and that eventually I would cry out to Him when I had no where else to go.
Sunday was special. My baby brother (and only living brother) and his wife, Tracy invited us to their home for a housewarming. It was wonderful to spend time with my siblings. One of my biggest faults is that I take life too serious, but on Sunday...I laughed like I haven't laughed in a long time. How can you not laugh when you get Billy, Janice, Patti, Debi, and Frances together (they could launch their own comedy show). Anyway, once again I thank God that He knows everything and that He knew who my siblings would be. I love them immensely and wouldn't trade them for the world!

Days 4 thru 6 on BHRT (Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater!)

On Day 4, vaguely remembering some hot flashes...maybe a time or two through the night! My first thought was, "Yeah! This stuff is working faster than expected!" Also woke up feeling more rested (duh? sleep does that for you). Had a great day (Sunday), great fellowship at church with my great big church family and then on to a family gathering (that's an entirely separate post). Then Day 5....that is where I was tempted to "throw the baby out with the bathwater". I woke up every hour on the hour with "blood boiling" hot flashes. That is about all I will say about that. No need to launch a major complaint, just prayed much for patience. Day 6...Yahoo! Didn't have a hot flash until 5:30 this morning. I am so stinkin' happy right now. Got some good solid sleep. It may have helped that I changed my sheets yesterday (from flannel to cotton). Next step, pajamas made with wicking (as suggested by Anita...). Onward with the journey and thankful for answered prayer. (To God be the glory!)

Day 2 & 3 on BHRT (Bio Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy)

On day 2, I had a very productive day and worked from daylight to dark on "to do's". By 9:45 p.m., I was zapped and sleep came easy. I only woke up once or twice with my friend "Hot flash". I went online and downloaded a coupon for one component of the BHRT. A lady demonstrated how to properly use the transdermal mist. She looked wide eyed and a bit unstable to me. I told Mike if I begin to look like her and I'm unaware for him to tell me so that I can come off the medicine quickly. Then today (day 3) I woke up several times throughout the night with my friend "hot flash", but they didn't seem to last as long. Chapter 3 in the book, "From Belly Fat to Belly Flat" focused on eating foods that balanced your hormones. Coffee was not on the list! As a matter of fact caffeine increased estrogen dominance. This rocked my world. I so love a good cup of coffee and in cooler weather it is not uncommon for me to ingest 2-4 cups a day. Other foods that cause estrogen dominance and upset the hormone balance are: Foods high in saturated fat, simple carbs (all white foods = bread, sugar, flour, potatoes, rice), alcohol, and phytoestrogens (soy products if not eaten in moderation). The journey into hormone balance continues. May your day be blessed!

Make Room.....

Just want to recap what the first 5 weeks of our small group study "No Other Gods" has covered. The overall theme has been "Make Room"....meaning to make room for God. In the first session we discussed our own personal pharaohs. We discussed the definition of a professed God versus a functioning God. A professed God is what we say we believe about God and a functioning god is what is really operating as our God. Basically, talking out of two sides of our mouth. In the second week we looked at why we have idols....our identity, need, pain, when God is silent, and fear. Then in the third week we talked about lies, primarily the lies that Satan tells us. We talked about the character of Satan (a liar and the father of lies) and the character of God (He cannot lie). As we stepped into our fourth week we discussed why idols are even a problem....they are desires gone crazy, jealousy and competition abound where there are idols, and also...they can never satisfy us. Then this past week (week 5) we talked about good goodbyes! Goodbye usually has a negative connotation. I especially enjoyed as we shared times in our life we had to say goodbye to someone or something. BUT, my very favorite part in this study is when we talked about the false memories that the Israelites had (see Numbers 11:1-17), they whined and complained because they were sick of eating manna and were craving meat. They talked about all the wonderful foods that they had when they were in Egypt and mentioned that these foods were free. (If you know the story, you know the foods weren't free because the Israelites were captives in Egypt for 470 years. The Egyptians killed their baby boys and made them work hard labor!) After God heard their whining and complaining for some time, He gave them meat until they vomited it out of their nostrils! YUCK! I remember thinking, "Boy, they were stupid"....but how often have I been like the Israelites....begged, whined, complained, and pleaded for God to give me what I desire only for Him to do so and me to be sick of it shortly after! Anyway....looking forward to next week when we'll talk about the God of Gods!
I will try to post more about the content of this study next week and how God has used this study in our small group time to draw us closer to Him!

Day 1 on BHRT (Bio Identical Hormone Therapy)

Randall is one of my christian brothers that told me last night that he had been reading my blog lately. I said, "Well, you may get bored with the next few posts, they are about my battle with hormone problems." Then I added, "But you can read it...". Anyway, Randall, if you are reading this know that women are not the only ones that suffer with menopause, men suffer from andropause (their version of menopause)...they also deal with estrogen dominance.

Not much to tell today, took my first dose of BHRT....wish one dose would fix it but I know it could take weeks for the hormone levels to build up again. The Nurse Practitioner told me to be sure to take the medication at night as it could make me sleepy. My first thought was, "Woo Hoo! I could sure use some sleep". So meanwhile I wait...Went to bed last night at 10:20 accompanied by my "stay put, naggy little headache". Woke up at 11:30, 3:30, 5:00....I just start praying for someone when I wake up till sleep comes again. When I wake up it is because of my new found friend "hot flash". Mike likes the hot flashes, says he gets warm quickly in cold weather when he lies beside me. I would gladly give up ownership of them if I could. Read another chapter of "From Belly Fat to Belly Flat". This chapter talked about the effect estrogen dominance has on the thyroid. Also, the author/physician discusses the alarming volume of people on antidepressants that would be cured if their hormones were balanced. Hmmmm?

Ground Zero on BHRT (Bio Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy)

I forgot to mention in my previous post that I'm having unbelievable sugar craving since I quit my HRT. Today I've had a headache all day (and I'm not a headache person). Headaches have been the norm since I divorced HRT - not a migraine but a nagging, irritating, stay put, headache. I'm not so sure I can blame my lack of HRT on today's headache since I'm sleep deprived, I've drank NO water today, and my front porch is covered in pollen. I bought a book at the Hormone Wellness Store (that was another impressive thing about them, they didn't push their store or products). The book is called "From Belly Fat to Belly Flat". Chapter 1 is devoted to explaining estrogen dominance. In short it means "your body's estrogen production is not balanced by progesterone production". The estrogen-to-progesterone seesaw has become tilted. This in turn can cause a host of other problems. Namely, your belly becomes the ultimate fat magnet. Hey and guess what? Men suffer from estrogen dominance too! I promise that every post I write from here on out will not be devoted to my menopause and HRT, but writing right now is therapy for me and will quite possibly help me sort through what works and what doesn't. Thanks for listening!

For Women Only....Hormone Replacement Therapy....yes or no?

I've been fighting a battle for the past two months. On Jan 1 of this year I made the decision to stop taking Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) COLD TURKEY! Yes, I know that was crazy. I started on it 12 years ago when I was diagnosed with early menopause. It was prescribed to combat symptoms (night sweats, hot flashes) and to prevent bone loss. It worked like a charm! BUT...every few years an opinion would flash from a medical journal or some other form of media that told me it was unsafe if taken more than 5 years. During my time on HRT, I began to notice gastrointestinal issues, weight plateaus that would not move regardless of diet or exercise, abdominal bloating, and bone loss. I can't say that HRT was to blame but I always had this nagging thought, "What if?"
One of my assistant nurse managers shared with me within the past several months that she had began seeing a physician that specializes in hormone wellness and bio identical (plant derived) hormones. I wish that I had journaled daily about my journey without hormones since Jan 1, but the few times I did journal were not so nice. Let me sum it up by telling you that I haven't liked the person I am without HRT, both physically and emotionally. The side effects without the HRT was almost enough to make me cave in and go to the pharmacy and had it not been for knowing that I had an appointment on the books for today with the hormone wellness physician, I'm sure I would have. I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AGAIN! (Or my version of normal anyway). The side effects have included hot flashes, night sweats, sleepless nights, daytime fatigue, irritability, moodiness, headaches, heart palpitations, forgetfulness, crying, OH....and not to mention that I've said some very odd & random things at very inappropriate times.
Anyway, today I went to my appointment and met with a Nurse Practitioner named Nicole. Nothing profound happened today....lab work was ordered, medical history and symptoms were reviewed, optiions discussed....yet.....I left feeling hopeful. So tonight I will start on Bioidentical Hormone Therapy (BHRT). It is costly compared to the synthetic brand of hormones (why does everything healthy cost more), but I have to know if it works. I plan to chart my course over the next month, I hope it doesn't bore you to tears but I pray that it helps someone. If you are currently taking BHRT, please drop me a line and let me know if it has worked for you.

The N.O.G.'s

For the past 5 weeks now, a small group of women from different churches and of varying ages have met in my home to study the Word of God. I cannot begin to tell you how much each of these women have blessed me with their testimonies and our times of sharing. We are studying from a book by author/singer, Kelly Minter, titled, "No other gods". The author spear headed this study by first having a small group meet in her own home and for fun they called themselves "The NOGS" (No Other God's)....so I found it only fitting that we call ourselves the N.O.G.'s as well. In a few weeks, we will end our study with a meal and game time and just a sweet time of fellowship. My prayer is that each woman that walks away from the study time will have a closer walk with Jesus and not just have attended another Bible study. Please pray for us as we continue this sweet fellowship time. Pray that if God willing, someone that is strong in their walk will emerge from this study willing to take on their own small group in a few weeks. As we continue in our study, I plan to write a few posts regarding how God has spoke to me through this study time and if any of them are willing, I will share or encourage them to share how God has spoke to them. As always, I appreciate any prayers you send my way. I just want to Praise God this morning for what He is doing around me (both seen and unseen)!