Near in mouth, far from heart....

Jeremiah 12:2b says:  "You are near in their mouth and far from their heart."

This was me prior to a relationship with Jesus Christ.  I could certainly talk a good game.  If anyone asked if I was a christian, I would have said "yes".  I could recite the books of the Bible in order, I could say the Lord's prayer, I knew all the "don'ts" in the Bible (i.e., DON'T: have sex, get drunk, lie, steal, covet, murder, etc), I knew John 3:16 by heart.  Yep!  I could talk a good game.  Jesus was near in my mouth but very far from my heart.     The next scripture in this chapter (verse 3) says, "BUT, You O Lord, know me; you see me and test my heart toward you".  It says that He (God) knows me....not that He "knew" me.  This speaks volumes to me.  This means that at times I am still this person that can have Him "near in mouth, but far from heart".  This tells me that I have to actively seek and work with the strength  that He gives me to not be this person.  I am capable of talking a good game but their are no games with God.  He means what he says and says what He means.  The fact that He "knows" me also tells me that although He has seen my sin nature, He didn't give up on me!  Thank you Lord for Your love, your grace, and your mercy toward me!

Is this your greatest day ever?

Presently, I'm reading a book that I had read years ago and found again recently.  It seems to be perfect for this season of  my life.  The book is titled, "Who holds the Key to your Heart" by Lysa Terkeurst.  Throughout the book, Lysa describes different ways that Satan attempts to defeat us and how Christ counteracts each of Satan's attacks and brings victory.  The chapter I read this morning is titled, "Discontentment is Satan's Distraction; Patience is God's reply".  Throughout the book the author poses a question and encourages the reader to journal.  So here was today's journal question:

"Is this your greatest day ever?"

Let that question sink in....I mean really ponder it.  At first I didn't get it....then as I read the remainder of the chapter, it hit me. Read on and you'll see what I mean:

If you had no children and then suddenly today you were blessed with toys to organize, bedtime stories to tell, and little messy hands to wipe, wouldn't it be your greatest day ever?

If you were paralyzed and then today you suddenly could climb the stairs, run after a toddler, jump up and down cheering for your teen, wouldn't it be your greatest day ever?

If you had no husband, and then today God gave you a man to do laundry for, help fold his collar over his tie, cook his favorite meal, and wrap your arms around as you fell asleep, wouldn't this be your greatest day ever?

If you had no home, then suddenly you were blessed with dishes to wash, beds to make, weeds to pull, and floors to sweep, wouldn't this be your greatest day ever?

If you had no friends and then today you had one who wanted your advice, another who wanted to come over and visit, and another who just wanted to share a funny story with you, wouldn't this be your greatest day ever?

If you had no sight, then suddenly today you were blessed with a blue sky to gaze up at, a child's smile to catch a glimpse of, and a beautiful flower to admire, wouldn't this be your greatest day ever?

If you had no Savior, then suddenly today you learned of the One who died in your place so that you could be forgiven, healed, and set free, wouldn't this be your greatest day ever?

Psalm 118:24 says, "This is the day the Lord has made;let us rejoice and be glad in it".

Lord, I just praise you!  This is the greatest day ever!  I have my health, I have a home (with A/C!), I have healthy children and a husband that loves me despite my many flaws.  I had a godly mother and grandmother, I have a job to go to, a car to drive, a church family, pastor's that preach truth, siblings that I love, food on the table, clothes on my back....but most of all God, I have the mercy and grace that you bestowed on me when you gave your Son to die on the cross for my sins....thank you for taking me out of the darkness and bringing me into your marvelous light.  In Christ's name I pray, Amen!

I Sought Him.....

Psalm 34:4,5 says, "I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."

As I read this verse, I am reminded of a day in 1998 where I sought God...I don't remember the day of the week, the time of day, or the calendar date, I just remember the year, the place, and the chaos churning in my heart on that day.

My mom was dead and a series of other events had driven me to despair and desperation.  I threw myself on the bed in our guest bedroom, face down, sobbing so loud and so hard that the sound was deafening and I shook.  I screamed for God to help me.....I sought Him....the storybook God I had heard about from childhood.  He heard me and He answered me.  In the midst of my sobs, my despair, my paralyzing grief....he heard me.  I began to feel a calmness and my sobs lessened to a quiet whimper and I felt hope for the first time in a long time.

I believe that like Saul in the Bible, as he traveled the road to Damascus (Acts 9:1-19), that scales fell from eyes that day (not literally of course)...For the first time ever, God was not the God of storybooks and for the first time ever, I understood Jesus' sacrifice for me to be real....He died for me.... a southern talking, simple girl....nobody to the world but everything thru Christ!

Lord, Let me always remember that day!

So Called Love....

Me, getting ready to ride the "push push"

The little critter in this pic is me....when I was born, I had an older brother (late teens) that adored me.  My mother and father divorced when I was 4 years old, so my brother, Buddy, instantly became my father figure.  This was how he would dress me before we rode his motorcycle so that the wind would not get in my ears and cause an earache.  Yes, that would be a baby diaper on my head (a clean one though) and his cowboy hat.  Like I said at the beginning of this post....he adored me and I thought he was the greatest man I ever knew....BUT....as much as he loved me (he is now deceased), my heavenly father loves me more.  We are incapable of loving like our heavenly Father loves....we are incapable of loving unselfishly period, without the Holy Spirit indwelling us (and then it's a struggle, but possible).  Recently "Mercy Me" came out with a new CD called "The Generous Mr. Lovewell".....The words to one of there songs, "So Called Love" speaks volumes:

I can be there for you when it can't get much harder...
I can cover your head when life starts to rain....
I can hold on tight when it feels like you're falling....
I can breadcrumb the path when you've lost your way.....
I can make you laugh when the whole world is crying....
I can build you up when you're broken and chained....
BUT....if all that I do is absent of Jesus,
then this so called "love"....
is completely in vain.....

Learning to lean.....

It occurred to me as I looked at my blog today that I haven't blogged since March.  Why?  I guess because I really haven't had anything to say.  My sweet husband and I are finding ourselves in a weird season of life right now....one child grown and married, another child grown and finishing college....no grandchildren yet....Sometimes it feels like we are in a season of "waiting"....waiting to be needed by someone.   Also....waiting for God....we both have ministries tugging at our hearts that we want to be a part of....but we are waiting on God's timing.   We've experienced some heartaches over the past few months....watching people we love experience their own hurt and heartaches.  I was sitting and pondering today (I seem to do that alot lately) and the words to an old hymn popped in my mind.  I am learning more everyday just how small I am and just how big God is....and I am learning more everyday to lean on the One that is all knowing. 

Learning to lean
Learning to lean,
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Finding more power than I've ever dreamed
I'm learning to lean on Jesus.
(repeat)

Sad broken hearted, at an alter I knelt
I found peace that was so serene
And all that He asks is a child like trust
And a heart that is learning to lean

Learning to lean
Learning to lean,
I'm learning to lean on Jesus
Finding more power than I've ever dreamed
I'm learning to lean on Jesus.
(repeat)

Finding more power than I've ever dreamed
I'm learning to lean on Jesus.
I'm learning to lean on Jesus