Psalm 34:4,5 says, "I sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."
As I read this verse, I am reminded of a day in 1998 where I sought God...I don't remember the day of the week, the time of day, or the calendar date, I just remember the year, the place, and the chaos churning in my heart on that day.
My mom was dead and a series of other events had driven me to despair and desperation. I threw myself on the bed in our guest bedroom, face down, sobbing so loud and so hard that the sound was deafening and I shook. I screamed for God to help me.....I sought Him....the storybook God I had heard about from childhood. He heard me and He answered me. In the midst of my sobs, my despair, my paralyzing grief....he heard me. I began to feel a calmness and my sobs lessened to a quiet whimper and I felt hope for the first time in a long time.
I believe that like Saul in the Bible, as he traveled the road to Damascus (Acts 9:1-19), that scales fell from eyes that day (not literally of course)...For the first time ever, God was not the God of storybooks and for the first time ever, I understood Jesus' sacrifice for me to be real....He died for me.... a southern talking, simple girl....nobody to the world but everything thru Christ!
Lord, Let me always remember that day!