But God, I don't like roller coasters....(A plea for prayer).

It has been a roller coaster of a ride over the past 2 weeks, as Uncle Tharon has been in the hospital. I have copied excerpts from my written journal to adequately portray the "ride"....

April 15th - Uncle Tharon went into the hospital for a routine diagnostic procedure and was sitting on the bed in hospital room, waiting for a friend to return to the room and walk him to the car as he was being discharged home today....when his friend returned, Uncle Tharon was "grey", the nurses came in...long story short, he ended up with emergency surgery for stent placement and 2 serious heart attacks later was transferred to another hospital for ICU purposes. I think it is a miracle in itself, that all this occurred before Uncle Tharon even made it home, PRAISE GOD! They are only giving him 24 hours to live at this point. Mike and I went to the hospital, visited with family, visited Uncle Tharon...he wasn't even aware we were there.

April 19th - Uncle Tharon surpassed the "24 hours to live" mark, it's Sunday and he is still holding on. I didn't get to visit him today but Mike has been several times. I marvel at the family and thank God that he placed me in such a precious family.

April 24th - Uncle Tharon has taken a turn for the worse and will be unplugged from his breathing support tomorrow. I know God is sovereign, if that machine is unplugged and God wills for Uncle Tharon to breathe on his own, he will....otherwise God will take him home. I am ashamed that I dared to question God when I found out Uncle Tharon would be unplugged tomorrow, I even thought to myself, "Why didn't Uncle Tharon just die on that Wednesday when we were told that he only had 24 hours to live". BUT, who am I to question an all knowing, all seeing God. God knows why Uncle Tharon had to tarry.....

April 25th - Note to self: Nothing happens unless God wills it and God is never surprised by anything! They unplugged Uncle Tharon today. They were fully expecting that he would not be able to breathe on his own. I had to work, I told Mike not to call me at work with bad news, I just didn't want to blubber and cry all day at work. Mike called me at 5:30 p.m. When I first heard his voice, my first thought was, "I told you not to call", before I could finish the thought, he said, "I know you told me not to call, but they unplugged Uncle Tharon today." Sarcastically I thought, "That's why I didn't want you to call", again, before I could finish that thought, Mike said, "And he started breathing on his own and trying to talk to everyone." Why am I surprised, I am the one that told everyone to "pray believing".

April 26th - Mike, myself, and my sister-in-law Barbara, went to see Uncle Tharon today. He struggled to talk and his hands kept jerking. I feared he may be having a seizure. But, he recognized us. We didn't stay in the room long, wanted him to conserve his energy, mostly visited with family.

April 28th - (a.m.) Uncle Tharon's kidneys are not functioning well and the toxins are building up in his kidneys and causing him to have spasms - that would explain why his hands were jerking when we visited on Sunday. Today they are moving him from ICU to a hospice unit. anything related to hospice always seems so final, but that's up to the Master Physician.

April 28th - (p.m.) I'm in a slump that I can't seem to break out of....Mike and Riley are on their way in to see Uncle Tharon. I stayed home since I have to be up super early for work in the morning. I ended up diving into some left over Easter candy (stress eating is my downfall). I've never liked roller coasters and emotional roller coasters are no different. Uncle Tharon has been moved now to hospice, his kidneys aren't working and the doctors are saying that he has two days to live with his kidneys not working as they should. Nothing has changed between me and God, but I have asked "why" alot lately, not because God doesn't know what he is doing, but because I'm just nosy that way.

As I began writing this, I received a phone call from a cousin telling me that Uncle Tharon is not expected to make it through the night. If God wills for him to go home tonight, please pray for him to be comfortable and depart this earth knowing he was loved by so many....regardless of what happens, pray that God be glorified through it.

He did that just for me!

One of God's attributes, among many, that I marvel at is that He is accessible. His Word tells us in 1 John 5:14: "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." For more than 15 years I have commuted to a job in Downtown Jacksonville. This problem will seem trivial and silly to most, but if you've had to commute on I-10 to the 95 merger, you know that it can be more than a little "tricky"....each day that I would commute, I would ask God to help me get into the correct lane at the right time. I don't think it was mere coincidence that in all these years, the correct lane would seem to clear of heavy traffic just as I needed to merge. Construction has been going on for some time in this area, which seemed to only complicate the problem. Until...one day about a few months ago, I noticed that with the new construction, once I get into a particular lane of traffic on I-10, I simply stay in that lane and it takes me safely to my destination. No more hopping 3-4 lanes of traffic to be where I need to be! Every morning, I marvel and say, "Wow God, you did this just for me, Thank you!". This is such a vivid reminder that God truly does care about the little things...but there is another part to that verse that is important, "if we ask anything according to His will". I don't know about you, but this is often difficult. Especially when our will doesn't line up with God's. I have learned through the years that God has our good at heart, even if it doesn't seem so at the time and even if it involves trials and tribulations. God is our ultimate parent....and as parents, we all know that if we gave our children what they want simply because they want it, it wouldn't always be a good thing. I have many things that I'm praying "God's will" over right now. I don't know what His will is but I know it will be what's best.

A Beautiful Day!

It was already a beautiful day! I woke up excited...anticipating going to Easter service! Easter is such a vivid reminder for me of what Jesus did for me on the cross! I was also excited because I was going to have my entire family with me for Easter dinner after church. This included my son and his girlfriend Stephanie, my daughter and her boyfriend Joe, Joe's mother, Sandra (his father had to work today), my mother-in-law, my husband and myself. The church service was wonderful...the music was heart touching, the message preached by Brother Johnny was beautiful and thought provoking....Right after the service we were standing in the church....Shanna had walked away to talk to someone, I saw Joe looking through his mother's purse for something and then her pass him a small box as she was trying to converse with me! I said, "What are ya'll up to"....she whispered, "The ring"....I said, "YOU MEAN 'THE RING, THE RING'?" She said with much enthusiasm "YES!"....I could hardly contain myself....Joe had already met me and Mike for lunch one day and asked if he could marry our daughter....now he was about to give my unknowing daughter (the one that always ruins a surprise), the RING! I thought he was probably going to come back to the house and give it to her as we all sat around the table eating Easter dinner....Everyone arrived at the house but Shanna and Joe. I asked Sandra (Joe's mother), "Where are they?"...she said, "Oh, he wanted to give her the ring where they went on their first date, at church"....Shortly after, Shanna and Joe arrived, Shanna with huge tears of joy in her eyes! I can't begin to tell you how blessed we are....we have prayed for godly mates for both of our children and God has blessed us! Joe has to be hand picked by God for our Shanna, because we couldn't have picked near as well!